I need to preface this post: I am really emotional today. In
a good way, which I hope you will understand by the end of what I'm sure will
be some rambling...
Today, most of the group is in Cordoba, but I'm still here
in Seville, since I went to Cordoba in May.
My morning consisted of watching three episodes of GLEE, and it was a
great way to get me into a crying mood! Since the third episode was the
graduation episode, it really made me miss some very important people from my
high school career (namely, Taylor, Stephen, Caleb, Heidi, and Mr. Warren).
Now, you may be asking ‘why are you
rambling about high school on a blog about your cultural experience in
Seville?’ Please be patient, I’m
getting there.
Over the past several years, I’ve developed an
understanding, maybe even a life philosophy, which is focused on experiencing
with full clarity the things going around me. So many people try to change the
feelings they have. When we’re sad, friends try to cheer us up. When we’re
happy, we usually try to keep being happy. That may not be all bad. But there’s
another option.
I’ve realized that happiness, sadness, excitement, anger,
joy, and disappointment are instrumental in forming who we are, and who we will
become. For these emotions to mean
anything, they need their opposite; what value would happiness have if sadness
didn’t exist? Because of this, I think we need to open up and surrender to
whatever we feel in the moment. Let the pain fill you up, let euphoria overtake
you, let disappointment take your breath away, and let amazement stop your
heart. That’s how I’ve been trying to live my life.
Here’s how this all relates to my time here. Right now, I’m
really missing some people. And it’s completely okay, because I realize that
the feeling comes from how much I care about them. I also realize that the
feeling isn’t going to last forever. Earlier, I was walking down the street,
sweat pouring out, and I stopped for a second, in the sun, so I could feel the
heat with absolute clarity. Every moment goes away before it even starts, so
now I try to focus on experiencing those moments while they last. It has
honestly made my life so much richer. So, if you feel like something is
missing, look around you; you are probably just missing it!
